Research shows that the most significant factor contributing to successful therapy is not the therapist’s theoretical orientation, their educational background, or the number of years they’ve been practicing.  Rather, the most significant factor is the therapeutic relationship.  In other words, “fit” with one’s therapist really, really matters. 

Even though this is the case, many therapists still decide to take a distant, intellectual stance with their patients.  I am not this kind of therapist.  While I will listen to you more attentively and closely, perhaps, than others in your life, I also bring myself into the room—meaning that I am not a distant observer, but someone who moves among a range of responses, from quiet listening to jokey-ness to thoughtful reflection to playfulness. 

My clients, as a result, tend to describe me as warm, thoughtful, funny, and kind.  And, I admit it: I take pride in the number of times I’ve been told from clients that they’ve “made more progress” with me than with therapists in the past and that they “feel more of a relationship with me”! They commonly describe these former therapists as good listeners, but as not nearly as engaged.